In trying to find my true self I found myself looking back to the last time I remember seeing that person. I ended up thinking back to memories of my hometown and the likes and dislikes that I discovered there. I reflected on the variety of things my imagination cooked up. I looked at my most meaningful moments, both good and bad. I remembered the types of places I had fun and what things just weren’t for me. But most importantly I took stock of all the things I wanted to try back then that I never got around to. This has given me a great starting point for self-discovery moving forward, it also allowed me to make peace with a few things that I hadn’t let go of yet.
Whether or not you leave home as soon as you can, you can’t sever your connection to your hometown. Even if you never go back there, you learned you what you didn’t want through experiencing those things. It’s important to move on from the bad things in your past, but also it is important to remember that they shaped you and made you stronger. I rarely go to Oshawa unless it’s to visit family (be that biological or chosen). In general, I didn’t enjoy my time in my hometown and don’t look back on it fondly. I have no reason to be there other than to hug the people I love who couldn’t or didn’t want to leave. But I will never forget what it meant to live there, or why these people are important. It is where I learned who I am and what’s important to me. It’s where I shaped my interest, my fashion sense, and my personality. It was the last time and place in my life where I saw the world with rose-coloured glasses. It’s where my child life ended and my adult life began. The worlds of my imagination exist by the creek down the road from my childhood home. The people nearest and dearest to me come from the time I spent there. The people who have hurt me more than anyone come from the same circles. All of it is so important to who I’ve become now, even if only through teaching me how to forgive.